I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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