super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize