Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
