We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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