Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
