Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
