hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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