Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
