these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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