So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My vagina is officially offended.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
