weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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