Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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