I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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