She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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