If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
