I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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