Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
