I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
