FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
