how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
God, I missed his penis.
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