i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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