Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
