your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize