just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
this boner is exhausting
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
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The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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