All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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