I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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