i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
