Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
