You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
