Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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