are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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