well I can't set my house on fire every night
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
