Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize