I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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