The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
50% drunk capacity currently
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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