Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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