omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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