Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
