Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
