my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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