I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
