I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
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the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
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I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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