the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
