my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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