dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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