Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
