You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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