The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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