I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
