where am i from again
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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