You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
this boner is exhausting
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
