Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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