READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
